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Univ. Of Toronto Hosts Free Handjob Workshop

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It’s been a while since we’ve covered some news out of Canada here on Campus Unmasked. But don’t worry, fam, I’ve got you covered with an especially zany story today. The University of Toronto recently hosted a free handjob workshop.

The question of the century has got to be, which is more embarrassing for a university, conservatives consistently getting shut down, punched, bike locked, etc. like at UC Berkeley, or public funding going towards a free handjob workshop, like what happened last week at the University of Toronto?

“Learn how to give a memorable handjob,” reads the flyer, obtained by Campus Unmasked. “This is a sex positive workshop teaching anatomy and penis massage techniques. If you’ve never been to a pleasure-based workshop before, this is a great introduction…a fun, relaxed, non-judgemental, and educational workshop!”   

Now, here’s the thing, I’m not objecting to the concept of a handjob workshop. But chances are, most of the people who gave the funding to the center hosting this event, are not AT ALL interested in attending. That and the workshop is offered during the University of Toronto’s sexual health awareness week. I’m still not a fan of student and taxpayer dollars getting funneled into these things, but it would make a BIT more sense if it were about contraception or STDs.

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Harvard

Harvard Group Says ‘F*** ICE,’ Hosts ‘UndocuGraduation’

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Harvard University’s Act on a Dream student group hosted an “Undocugraduation” last week, according to Campus Reform. The event was apparently attended by more than 50 students, staff, and administrators of the Harvard community.

You’ve heard of black-only graduations, but have you heard of ones exclusively for illegals? You might think I’m comparing apples and oranges here, but I don’t think it’s too difficult to imagine an America in, let’s say, 2050, where slavery is placed on the same pedestal as national borders. Some people probably already do equate the two.

Harvard’s Act on a Dream group posted to Facebook in March, saying “Fuck ICE and [Customs and Border Patrol]! All these racist institutions have got to go.”

Harvard also apparently doesn’t consider citizenship status at all when awarding financial aid And the Ivy League school is far from the only one catering to illegals. Law school clinics in New Jersey recently received a quarter of a million dollars to represent illegal aliens facing deportation on a pro-bono basis. Over a third of American states allow illegal aliens to obtain IN-STATE tuition — this is all, of course, while American citizens from other states, on average, have to pay over two times as much to attend the same schools. And last month, New York doled out $27 million for children of illegal aliens, while refusing to add money to a fund that’s a tenth the size helping children of fallen soldiers.

Just another day in clown world, fam.

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Harvard

Harvard Drops Dean Representing Harvey Weinstein

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If you attend Harvard, you might find yourself living in Winthrop College, one of the Ivy League school’s residential houses. And your dean would be a bloke by the name of Ronald Sullivan, who also serves as a law professor and director of Harvard’s Criminal Justice Institute there.

Ronald is keeping his professor and director gigs, but the school announced that it will not be renewing his contract as a residential dean, reported Inside Higher Ed. You see, some students and outside agitators probably are upset that Ronald is helping provide legal defense for alleged rapist Harvey Weinstein.

Harvard student Danu Mudannayake created a petition, saying that in Ronald’s “role as a House Dean, his defense of [Weinstein] induces a great amount of fear and hurt in victims of the crimes that Weinstein is accused of, and although anyone facing the law is innocent until proven guilty, the scope of the Weinstein case still literally shakes people on this campus to this day. His role on Weinstein’s team, and position as a community leader, are NOT mutually exclusive and the former has incredibly harmful implications for the latter.”

The word of the day here on Campus Unmasked is “compartmentalize.” It’s what we can do what all of these pseudo-intellectual fruitcakes seemingly cannot. The courtroom is not real life. I mean, this is like arguing that you’re not gonna let a guy babysit your kid because he played a serial killer in a movie. It’s silly and, worse, it’s anti-intellectual. Remember that this is the same school where students found learning about rape law triggering. If you don’t have these discussions in college and punish the people who can provide another point of view, you’re going to be a pretty crummy lawyer.

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Hawaii State Rep. ROASTS PC University

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A Student Bar Association was going to host a party called “Hawaiian Day,” but after submitting the event idea to the University of South Dakota law school, apparently got told to change the name and ended up going with “Beach Day,” reported Campus Reform. The bar association told partygoers to come dressed in floral shirts and leis, the little flower wreaths, but then scrapped the leis, allegedly because “It was determined that these are culturally insensitive by the administration after doing research based off of the essay written by [a] complainant.”

The law school administration didn’t tell the group not to wear leis, but did suggest not to hand them out on the basis that they’re items of cultural significance. Now, this seems to be a decision that was poorly received across the board. First, USD’s president, Sheila Gestring, put out a press release, saying “Administrative censorship of student speech and expression is a serious matter and not something USD condones without compelling justification consistent with Board policy, such as a genuine threat.”

Sheila said the university would be investigating whether the law school violated the school’s policy on free speech. But to make things even more humiliating for cultural authoritarians, Hawaii state Republican Rep. Bob McDermott bashed the law school in USD’s student newspaper.

He said “Someone in South Dakota has their head stuck in a snowbank. The lei is a symbol of our Aloha spirit in Hawaii, inclusive and welcoming. One individual’s objection to its use at a festive event is both patronizing and an insult to our island tradition. It is also a demonstration of ignorance about the cultural significance of the lei.”

Here’s the thing about all of this cultural appropriation claptrap. It operates from two faulty assumptions. One, that culture operates by some sort of perverse property rights system in which white people are forbidden from embracing trends started by other races, but not the other way around. Remember that Hawaii fits into that paradigm because it has less than 25% whites.

And two, the concept of cultural appropriation mistakes the donning of sombreros and the like as part of a jovial, themed party for contemptuous mockery. I used to think that those two assumptions were simple mistakes, until they happened over and over and over again. It’s high time we stopped treating these guys as wayward children and started recognizing them as entirely self-conscious fraudsters and killjoys. 

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