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Univ. Of Toronto Hosts Free Handjob Workshop

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It’s been a while since we’ve covered some news out of Canada here on Campus Unmasked. But don’t worry, fam, I’ve got you covered with an especially zany story today. The University of Toronto recently hosted a free handjob workshop.

The question of the century has got to be, which is more embarrassing for a university, conservatives consistently getting shut down, punched, bike locked, etc. like at UC Berkeley, or public funding going towards a free handjob workshop, like what happened last week at the University of Toronto?

“Learn how to give a memorable handjob,” reads the flyer, obtained by Campus Unmasked. “This is a sex positive workshop teaching anatomy and penis massage techniques. If you’ve never been to a pleasure-based workshop before, this is a great introduction…a fun, relaxed, non-judgemental, and educational workshop!”   

Now, here’s the thing, I’m not objecting to the concept of a handjob workshop. But chances are, most of the people who gave the funding to the center hosting this event, are not AT ALL interested in attending. That and the workshop is offered during the University of Toronto’s sexual health awareness week. I’m still not a fan of student and taxpayer dollars getting funneled into these things, but it would make a BIT more sense if it were about contraception or STDs.

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Hockey Coach: If You Plan On Disrespecting Anthem, ‘Get The F*** Out Now’

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John Krupinsky, coach of the Danbury Hat Tricks, a team in the US Federal Hockey League, told his players that if they were going to disrespect the American or Canadian national anthem, they could “get the f*** out now.”

Now I wanted to discuss this on Campus Unmasked for two reasons. One, this is the first time I’ve really seen cultural pressure in this direction from someone in the sport. Sure, you have President Trump blasting people who disrespect the flag, but when it comes to those who are actually in the athletic community, we only seem to hear about those kneel like Colin Kaepernick or those who refuse to go to the White House like Megan Rapinoe, never someone patriotic.

And two, we’ve covered similar stories here on Campus Unmasked. Speaking of Kaepernick, there was that whole Nike fiasco during which a Georgetown professor compared the Betsy Ross flag to a burning cross and swastika. You’ve also had a Texas student government president covering the American flag with a Black Lives Matter one. And you had the UVA basketball coach who denied a visit to the White House after the circulation of an anti-Trump petition with thousands of signatures. 

Back to the hockey coach, he recently spoke to my team over at Campus Reform about what seems to be a growing anti-American sentiment in the education system.

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Pitzer College

Laverne Cox: ‘Trans-Inclusive’ Language ‘Matter Of Life And Death’

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Transgender activist and actress Laverne Cox argued that using language that is inclusive of transgender people is a “matter of life and death,” reported Campus Reform. Pitzer College in California invited Laverne to speak and the activist addressed the recent Alabama law banning abortion in all cases except when the mother’s life is at risk.

After that happened, Laverne shared a tweet from a civil rights activist who said “woman’s body. Woman’s right to choose. End of story.”

Catchy platitude? Check. Leaving no room for debate? Check. That tweet would seem to meet all of the usual standards for progressive talking points…what could possibly go wrong?

But by saying “women,” Laverne was apparently leaving out biological women who transition to become men but then, I guess, preserve their ability to have children and reproduce in a gay relationship.

Imagine enrolling in Pitzer College and paying around $50,000 per year to major in something really useful like — oh, I don’t know — like their gender and feminist studies program, let’s say.  For four years, you slug through tests and presentations…and your or your parents’ bank account and finally, graduation day is here. You’re looking to hear something really inspiring before you embark on a fulfilling career of being a lobbyist or, yourself, indoctrinating kids in school. What could be more empowering than hearing an actress from “Orange Is the New Black” dictate to you how to use your English?

Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually the students’ notion to invite Laverne. Remember that this is the same school where the student senate tried to force the president out after he vetoed an attempt to spike the school’s study abroad program in Israel.

The lunatics may just be running the asylum.

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Harvard

Harvard Group Says ‘F*** ICE,’ Hosts ‘UndocuGraduation’

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Harvard University’s Act on a Dream student group hosted an “Undocugraduation” last week, according to Campus Reform. The event was apparently attended by more than 50 students, staff, and administrators of the Harvard community.

You’ve heard of black-only graduations, but have you heard of ones exclusively for illegals? You might think I’m comparing apples and oranges here, but I don’t think it’s too difficult to imagine an America in, let’s say, 2050, where slavery is placed on the same pedestal as national borders. Some people probably already do equate the two.

Harvard’s Act on a Dream group posted to Facebook in March, saying “Fuck ICE and [Customs and Border Patrol]! All these racist institutions have got to go.”

Harvard also apparently doesn’t consider citizenship status at all when awarding financial aid And the Ivy League school is far from the only one catering to illegals. Law school clinics in New Jersey recently received a quarter of a million dollars to represent illegal aliens facing deportation on a pro-bono basis. Over a third of American states allow illegal aliens to obtain IN-STATE tuition — this is all, of course, while American citizens from other states, on average, have to pay over two times as much to attend the same schools. And last month, New York doled out $27 million for children of illegal aliens, while refusing to add money to a fund that’s a tenth the size helping children of fallen soldiers.

Just another day in clown world, fam.

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