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Lunch Ladies Arrested For $500K Heist

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Everyone loves Grand Theft Auto, but how about Grand Theft Lunch? These two ladies, Joanne Pascarelli and Marie Wilson, are sisters who allegedly stole, within five years time, $478,588 from Saxe Middle School and New Canaan High School, schools in a wealth Connecticut neighborhood, according to The Daily Caller News Foundation.

Joanne and Marie were in charge of the cafeterias there and apparently told the cashiers not to count up how much money was earned on any given day. They would then underreport the earnings and swipe the rest of the cash.

But at least one of these lunch ladies isn’t going down without a fight. Mark Sherman, Marie’s attorney, said: “There is much more to this story. Marie is innocent and did not personally divert a single nickel of town money for personal gain. She is not going to be scapegoated for the missing money.”

Joanne and Marie got charged with fraud and larceny and paid $50,000 in bail apiece to get out of prison and, get this, New Canaan police believe that the sisters have been poaching money for 15 years, but fortunately for the ladies, a statute of limitations bars them from being charged for anything longer than five years. Marie and Joanne are scheduled to appear in court on August 21th and 24th.

But what is UP with Connecticut recently? You might remember when I reported on feminist professor Matthew Fantastic Loter — yes, that’s him in a Snow White outfit there — who allegedly put a YouTuber in a headlock and began punching him in the head. It’s been nearly three weeks since THAT incident and still no arrests.

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Arizona State University

Profs/Teachers Misidentify Covington Kids, Say MAGA Hat’s The Problem

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We know by now that the kid who made the smirk seen around the world was Nick Sandmann. But not everyone knew that at first. Arizona State University lecturer Lillian “Marie” Wallace said that that student was instead Covington student Michael Hodge, and proceeded to post contact info for the college that Hodge planned to attend in the fall, according to Campus Reform.

Others also misidentified Sandmann as Hodge. Here’s the thing: Hodge wasn’t even in D.C. on the day of the incident. But that didn’t stop the mob from apparently sending harassment and threats to Hodge’s family and trying to get Cincinnati State to rescind his admission.

Wallace apologized after realizing she’d picked the wrong kid — but it seemed like she was only sorry for just that. Picking the wrong kid. Not going after someone underage because of political animus or fake news. And she wasn’t the only one.

Colorado middle school teacher Michelle Grissom was placed on leave after  reportedly misidentifying another Covington student and claiming that the boy was in the Hitler Youth, reported The Daily Caller News Foundation. The dad of the misidentified student who, again, apparently wasn’t even in D.C. that day, asked Michelle multiple times to delete her tweets, but nothing happened until after he contacted the school district.

But why even bother examining the details of the story when you can just smear a whole group on the basis that they support the president? That’s what our old friend University of New Brunswick professor Matthew Sears did in a Washington Post op-ed.

He made a pretty extensive analogy between the Covington incident and the Peloponnesian War before arguing that wearing MAGA hats constitutes “deliberate provocation” and concluding that “it is impossible to separate the MAGA symbol from anti-immigrant and anti-minority views and policies….by proudly displaying their MAGA hats, the boys of Covington Catholic presented themselves as embracing a set of exclusionary ideas.”

This is where we are: excusing the harassment of and threats sent to children, not because of their political ideology, but because of your insane, fictitious painting of their ideology.

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K-12

School Freaks Out Over White Hooded…Monk Robe

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Lower Merion School District, a school system in a pretty wealthy Pennsylvanian county, sent an email to families of high school students after a photo of a student in a white hooded robe raised some eyebrows, according to The American Conservative. The school district said:

“The robe is part of a monk costume from ‘Romeo and Juliet.’ The monk’s costume — along with many other costumes — were to be used by 9th grade English students to act out the Shakespeare play. The photo appears to have been taken as a student was returning to class for a performance.”

The spokeswoman said “As soon as the teacher saw that particular costume, she realized it could be misinterpreted and that its imagery was disturbing. The costume will not be used in future enactments of “Romeo and Juliet.”

Shouldn’t you be trying to make a white hooded robe represent a monk instead of the KKK? I mean, this is almost like shielding the KKK from cultural appropriation. And regardless of your intention, you realize what this unhinged paranoia does, right? It creates a never-ending cycle of trolls who spread fake news about milk, the OK-hand, and Pepe the frog somehow being neo-Nazi dog whistles, just to see the media outrage.

But this isn’t the first time Lower Merion School District has thrown a bit of a hissy fit. Last month, students at the district’s Harriton High School tried to host an event called Mr. Harriton, an annual competition that raises thousands for charity. But the school told students that they would need to change the name to a gender-neutral “Mx. Harriton.”

A few years before that, the district sent parents a consent form that they could sign to allow students to eat an Oreo. Students were apparently going to use the Oreo for a science lab and the teacher sent home a permission slip reading “the students may eat the Oreo after the investigation if this is okay with you. The students do NOT have to eat the Oreo if they do not wish to do so.”

Just a reminder that the craziness doesn’t always start at college.

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K-12

Teacher Evacuates Class Over MAGA Hat

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A high school teacher told a student to take off a Make America Great Again, or MAGA, hat.

Apparently wearing a hat and learning are mutually exclusive. Something tells me political diversity wasn’t on the syllabus.

When the student refused to take off the hat, the teacher and other students apparently just left. Now I know some of you might be saying “hold on, Shimshock, how do you know this was political discrimination? The school could’ve just had a dress code that banned hats.” 

The school seems to have a dress code, but the teacher suggested that those rules are pretty flexible. It sounds like the kid would have been fine if he had worn just any old hat. But the teacher said he took it “further by being provocative,” which suggests that it was the specific nature of the hat that triggered both the supposed rule violation and the rest of the class.

Now, as you saw earlier, the young chap with the MAGA hat wasn’t the one who filmed this video. The guy who did film the video has refused to identify the school. His name on YouTube is Frank Sharp, although there are quite a few of those out there. But if you have any info on the school or teacher, feel free to submit a tip to CampusUnmasked.com or just get in touch on Twitter.

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